Hokay, I survived the EMG today. Actually, 'twasn't nearly as bad as I'd feared.
I got there early, which was a boon as the hapless person who was scheduled before me was late arriving, so I was able to get right in. No waiting and dreading and imagining all manner of torment. The test consisted of the doctor sending a few electrical shocks through some of the muscles in me lower legs. That was uncomfortable, truth be told, but not anywhere near excruciating. It made me legs jump - imagine that, an electrical shock to one's muscles will make the affected muscles contract! - and irritated the associated nerves (hence, the pain), but the pain was fleeting.
After that, he did stick a needle into some muscles, but only in four places. 'Twas a small needle, so really didn't hurt as much as it does when blood is drawn. And that was that. Hel, I didn't even bleed afterwards, dammit! No blood for the wounded Warrior to point to for maidens' sympathy and loving ministrations. Woe is me!
Do I feel like a fool, or what? I feel like a complete idjit, I do. But I do thank you for thinking good thoughts of me.
Methinks I'll crawl back into me hole now.
The Auld Scot
16 January 2006
15 January 2006
Fear and loathing in the woods
This is really a personal post, meant mostly for my own comfort, what wee bit I can derive from it. It's probably futile, but maybe it's worth the try. If nowt else, I'll share some of my angst and trepidations with the world - what wee part of the world that reads this, anyway.
I have to go for a medical test tomorrow and it's scaring the bejaysus out of me. It's only an EMG, but I've heard those things can be excruciating. Y'see, if ye dinna ken what the things are, the doc (or mad scientist, if ye prefer) sticks a bunch of needles into your muscles and reads the electrical activity therein. Now, Dr. Frankenstein doesn't just stick the needle in, get his reading, and get the hel out - oh, no, he has to take a reading when your muscle is at rest (huh! as if any muscle with a needle in it can truly be at rest). Then, he leaves the freakin' needle there, makes you move the muscle around, and takes a second reading.
And, he doesn't just test one muscle, either. Nope. He tests all of 'em in the target area - in this case, me legs (both of 'em, of course). Now, I looked this test up on Web-MD and learned that, not only can it be "extremely painful," but, because it's an invasive procedure (medicalese for any medical procedure wherein the patient's skin is penetrated, or invaded), it can bleed at the puncture sites and - and - lead to infection. Oh, the bliss just keeps on comin'.
So, I'm more than a bit frightened. Me. The big, auld former combat medic and paramedic. Y'see, like I've told numerous patients and others over the years, I dinna' like pain, which is one of the reasons I became a medic in the first place - to do what I could to ease pain.
I think I'm gonna' come back home tomorrow when 'tis all over and go right straight on the mother of all pity trips. I'll probably also imbibe some powerful Scot's anesthetic (such as Cú Dhubh), but I have to be at work at 0615 the next morning, so my intake will be perforce limited.
By the way, dinna' think I'm looking for pity or sympathy. Nope. I just wanted to vent a bit. Thanks for reading.
The Auld Scot
I have to go for a medical test tomorrow and it's scaring the bejaysus out of me. It's only an EMG, but I've heard those things can be excruciating. Y'see, if ye dinna ken what the things are, the doc (or mad scientist, if ye prefer) sticks a bunch of needles into your muscles and reads the electrical activity therein. Now, Dr. Frankenstein doesn't just stick the needle in, get his reading, and get the hel out - oh, no, he has to take a reading when your muscle is at rest (huh! as if any muscle with a needle in it can truly be at rest). Then, he leaves the freakin' needle there, makes you move the muscle around, and takes a second reading.
And, he doesn't just test one muscle, either. Nope. He tests all of 'em in the target area - in this case, me legs (both of 'em, of course). Now, I looked this test up on Web-MD and learned that, not only can it be "extremely painful," but, because it's an invasive procedure (medicalese for any medical procedure wherein the patient's skin is penetrated, or invaded), it can bleed at the puncture sites and - and - lead to infection. Oh, the bliss just keeps on comin'.
So, I'm more than a bit frightened. Me. The big, auld former combat medic and paramedic. Y'see, like I've told numerous patients and others over the years, I dinna' like pain, which is one of the reasons I became a medic in the first place - to do what I could to ease pain.
I think I'm gonna' come back home tomorrow when 'tis all over and go right straight on the mother of all pity trips. I'll probably also imbibe some powerful Scot's anesthetic (such as Cú Dhubh), but I have to be at work at 0615 the next morning, so my intake will be perforce limited.
By the way, dinna' think I'm looking for pity or sympathy. Nope. I just wanted to vent a bit. Thanks for reading.
The Auld Scot
03 January 2006
And the winner is>>>
We have a winner!
The correct answer to my quiz was ... *drum roll, please* nothing. That's right, not a damn thing, nada, zilch, nowt, nuttin', nunca, zero, (insert your own synonym). And the winner of the contest is ... *more drum roll, then a breathless hush of anticipation* Alia! Congratulations, m'lady. *and the crowd goes mild!* You win this fabulous prize: bragging rights!!!! Yes, you win uninhibited bragging rights for your correct answer to our contest. You may use these rights wherever and whenever you choose, without penalty or constraint. Some restrictions apply. Void where taxed, restricted, or legally banned. Batteries not included.
Okay. That's the end of that silliness. Time now to be serious. Or, maybe not. Tell me, is Life really supposed to be serious? Or is that just the wish of the humorless?
A very close friend of mine once sent me a photocopy of a headline from her local paper. It read: "Scientists say there is no scientific evidence that life is serious." On the other hand, there are a great many who declare with unbridled authority that Life is, indeed, not only serious, but totally devoid of the merest shred of humor. Why, laughter - even the slightest chuckle - is heresy to these people.
So, who's right? Or, as is the case in much of life, is the answer somewhere in between?
I'd like to see your opinions.
The Auld Scot
The correct answer to my quiz was ... *drum roll, please* nothing. That's right, not a damn thing, nada, zilch, nowt, nuttin', nunca, zero, (insert your own synonym). And the winner of the contest is ... *more drum roll, then a breathless hush of anticipation* Alia! Congratulations, m'lady. *and the crowd goes mild!* You win this fabulous prize: bragging rights!!!! Yes, you win uninhibited bragging rights for your correct answer to our contest. You may use these rights wherever and whenever you choose, without penalty or constraint. Some restrictions apply. Void where taxed, restricted, or legally banned. Batteries not included.
Okay. That's the end of that silliness. Time now to be serious. Or, maybe not. Tell me, is Life really supposed to be serious? Or is that just the wish of the humorless?
A very close friend of mine once sent me a photocopy of a headline from her local paper. It read: "Scientists say there is no scientific evidence that life is serious." On the other hand, there are a great many who declare with unbridled authority that Life is, indeed, not only serious, but totally devoid of the merest shred of humor. Why, laughter - even the slightest chuckle - is heresy to these people.
So, who's right? Or, as is the case in much of life, is the answer somewhere in between?
I'd like to see your opinions.
The Auld Scot
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